I want to give you my limbs my hips, the corners of my eyes my mouth so that you will know that when every time I tremble with silence my body is still in love with you I am still trying to tell you something.
“the first time we kissed
a tornado blew its way through Kansas
and a small town in Arizona fell to its knees
at the sight of a forest fire
we told ourselves not to mourn
that maybe we were the creation borne
from the destruction
we’d learnt that there’s no such thing
as beauty in the breakdown
but we fell into each other
like a jetplane with a loose wing
I held onto you so desperately
that five months later the nail marks on your forearms
still spelt my name it looked like someone
had pressed cigarette butts to your skin
but it was only me and it was only you
and somehow we ruined everything but each other
if we were ever sorry for any of it
I don’t remember
our bodies marked like graves
with each other’s mouths
it was all so beautiful
even when it went up in flames
see, because even when I hated you
I still wanted to touch you
and when we touched, baby
somewhere across the city a truck flipped off the road
and the electric went down
just for half a second, the time it took
for your hands to touch my hips
and turn my entire body into a lit match
for a solid month, we were nothing but hungry teeth
nothing but red marks and swollen lips
we were the reason for every natural disaster
and every car accident
this is the love our mothers never warned us about
the kind that tasted like lighter fluid
and lingered like gun powder under our nails
the kind that tried to split the earth right down the middle
just so it could breathe
this was the kind of love that the bible
wouldn’t talk about because it looked
too much like being buried alive
too much like a landscape made of bruises
too much like having a heart where the mouth should be
this was the kind of love Eve tumbled out of Eden for
I will never apologize for the way we were or the things we did
we could not help the volcano inside of our bodies
or how we burned like the treetops in Arizona
because this was the kind of love our mother’s didn’t warn us about
the kind we couldn’t even say out loud without
making the entire city shudder”—"The love our mothers didn’t warn us about" || Azra & Caitlyn (via 5000letters)
1. When your friends ask you to hangout, and you don’t feel like it, don’t go. Don’t ever do things halfway or do something that makes you uncomfortable. With everything, give all of yourself, even the pieces you never knew existed.
2. It is okay to not know. Everyone always despises the phrase, “I don’t know” but no one tells you that it is okay to not know. The becoming is more important than the being, anyways.
3. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way, you have every right to walk away. You have every right to cut out toxic people in your life. To close the door on people who make you feel bad about who you are or what you stand for. Friends don’t tear down, they build up.
4. Loss is always going to happen. Just like paint will always chip and rain will always fall, loss will always be part of life. No matter how much I don’t like it, or avoid it, it is going to walk my way at several times in my life. Learn to embrace it and learn to get closure.
5. Give yourself a chance. Stop saying, “I don’t think I can” or “But what if I am not able to?” and give yourself a chance. This may be cliche, but try to believe in yourself. When you get older, your knees won’t work the same and you won’t have the best memory, and you are going to wish you’d given yourself a chance years sooner.
6. Fall in love. Don’t be guarded before you fall in love. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make “the one” matter less. Don’t fall into that idea that your first love has to be your best love. Fall in love as many times as it naturally happens.
7. Firsts are going to be messy. First loves, first kisses, first dates, first failed tests, first college class, first time you drive a car, first time you ride a plane - first times were made to be imperfect. Just because it’s messy and all over the place, doesn’t mean it can’t be good or worthwhile.
8. You want another scoop of ice-cream? Go get it. Get three more scoops of ice-cream if that is what you want. “Fat” is not the opposite of beautiful and it is not the opposite of happy. Don’t let anyone tell you that your body type isn’t beautiful. Beauty is a social construct, create your own, become your own.
9. Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs to spend a good portion of their life alone. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.
10. If you aren’t happy where you are, change it. Quit your job, move, become a vegetarian, get a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, whatever you do - make sure it benefits you. Life is too short to not be alive, to not be passionate, and overflowing.
Someone who doesn’t care to cook or get out of bed when it’s not a work day. Someone who sleeps so sound and peacefully that I have to check her pulse sometimes. Someone who’s suffered and understands suffering .. to the point I don’t have to say a word. She just - she just looks at me and sees who I am and how I feel .. and accepts it. You know, she doesn’t try to change it, doesn’t want to change it. That person.
There’s a billion people out there. But I imagine there’s only one her.
”—Hunt describing Yang (when asked what he seeks in a woman)